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Page 17
“I’m sure he’ll be back in the fall.” I lift my shoulder again. I stare at her hand on my arm.
She tightens her icy grip.
“He withdrew. That means he’s not coming back. Ever.” She bores holes into me with her eyes, searching for a reaction, waiting for me to falter.
“Then, I wish him well at whatever school he ends up at next.” My knees can barely hold my weight because I’m starting to think she’s serious. One look in her eyes and I can tell it’s true. Of course, his parents would pull him out of Easton and I’m to blame. The only reason he’s gone is because he’s been spending time with me, taking up for me. My head starts spinning and my body tries to go limp on me. All the energy drains like someone pulled a plug. It takes every bit of strength to stay upright.
I think about the tree branch and how I’m trapped on campus now that it’s broken. I can’t even leave to find him. Caius won’t be able to return, either.
“I have a message from him.”
“And?”
“He wants you to know that he’s had time to think and he’s planning to move on.” She lifts a piece of lint from her navy suit jacket and makes a production out of flicking it onto the floor. “He thinks you should, too.”
I can’t stop the tears from trickling down my face. Hearing those words are knives to my chest even. She’s lying. The words still hurt. He would never tell someone else to say those words to me. Still, the fact that he’s leaving school guts me. As much as I want to curl into a ball and cry, I’ve shown enough emotion. Gathering all my strength, I lift my chin. It’s best to focus on my anger right now and it doesn’t take long for it to hit full force. I want to lash out at her, and it takes all my willpower not to. “The relationship had probably run its course anyway. It’s for the best.”
“What do you know that you’re not telling?” She stares boldly into my eyes.
Good luck figuring it out.
“Why not bring in Dr. Sara and find out,” I retort. I shouldn’t bait her, but I can’t help it this time. I’m getting annoyed and the urge to fight wells up in me so strong that I can’t crush it this time. I’ve been swallowing too much, and some of it is forcing its way out.
She doesn’t speak. She stares harder. And then it dawns on me. The person who has been standing on the other side of the two-way mirror during my sessions is her.
“You already know all my secrets, ma’am.” I let my disdain show in the way I emphasize the last word. I cross my arms over my chest and prepare myself for the backlash that’ll come after my next comment. “Why not tell me a few of yours?”
A half laugh, half cough escapes her mouth. “Councilmembers lives are an open book. Everything about me is public record.”
“Where’s Mrs. Chaffee?” I look around as though I expect to see her round the corner any second. I’m being bold and it might be stupid, but I can’t help myself.
Snyder looks furious with me.
Good. I’m not all that thrilled with her, either.
“She’s not here. Why?”
“I didn’t know you had the ability to speak without her standing behind you, pulling strings.”
Her cheeks redden.
“You should watch yourself, Victoria,” she warns.
Or what?
If Caius is never coming back, there’s no reason for me to stick around. Let her kick me out. If everything’s true my brother and mother are dead, and I have nothing left.
“Follow me.” She doesn’t stop walking until we’re in the Biology building. We walk into the halls that I’m so familiar with on an almost daily basis and into an area I’ve never been. She tugs the ID badge attached to her belt loop and then inserts the chipped card into a security slot.
The red light changes to blue, and twin etched-glass doors open automatically. I’ve never been to this part of the building before. In fact, I didn’t even realize it existed until now.
There’s another layer of security before we enter a lab that looks to have several experiments running in various stages. Several men in traditional white lab coats work at their different stations. The area is so secure, no one bothers to look up. Most of them are wearing earbuds. Somehow, I doubt they’re listening to music.
“What are we doing here?”
One of the technicians looks up at the sound of my voice. He stands so quickly when he sees Snyder that the barstool, he’s been sitting on goes flying backward. The noise calls attention to our presence. Other white coats stand and face Snyder.
She walks straight over to a table. “What’s going on with this one?”
A man wearing black-rimmed glasses stands at attention.
“This is the promising specimen we discussed.” He looks at me as though he needs permission to speak while I’m present.
As I walk up to the table, I realize it has a glass top and a labyrinth below.
“You were briefed on the genetic enhancements made to the white mice. The gray one is new.” He pointed to a sweet-looking furry mouse in the corner.
“Has he performed the task yet?” Snyder asks.
“No, ma’am,” the man says. His name tag reads: Steph.
“Has he tried?”
“Not yet. We held off like you asked.”
She folds her arms across her chest. So far, she’s ignored my question and basically my whole presence. I can’t figure out what I’m doing here actually. I study the environment, looking for a clue. The only parallel I can draw is that the program I’m in is a similar environment, right? An experiment and I’m the star rat.
Snyder leans forward to get a better look at the gray mouse. It looks so small and yet it’s bigger than the white ones. She nods and Steph pushes a button that opens up cells.
The white mice scamper around looking for scraps of cheese. The gray mouse doesn’t budge. He’s uninterested in finding food.
“Send in the scent,” she demands.
Steph pushes another button and a faint yellow fog drifts through the cells, especially near to the gray. He sniffs the air but doesn’t try to move toward the smell.
“Why doesn’t he move?”
Steph studies the gray with a disappointed expression.
“He’s supposed to be genetically superior. Why hasn’t he evolved?” The councilwoman’s question comes out as a demand.
Steph pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “His performance is subpar.”
“Give me the bottom line,” Snyder demands, impatience radiates off her.
“Experiment 12.26’s genetic manipulation has failed.” He doesn’t look up and I can tell that he’s intimidated by her. I’m not. I’ve already lost everything important to me.
Snyder takes in a sharp breath. “We have no use for mistakes. Destroy it.”
Steph looks horrified. He quickly recovers. “Yes, ma’am.”
The councilwoman turns toward me and her eyes zero in on mine. Her arms are still folded, and she has a stern, angry-schoolteacher look on her face. Her eyebrows look like slash marks. “Everyone has a purpose in our society, wouldn’t you agree, Victoria?”
I clear my throat because it’s suddenly as though someone poured maple syrup down it. “I guess so.”
“Oh, no, there’s no guessing. Either we have a role to play or we don’t.” Her eyes are boring holes into me now. “And when something doesn’t fulfill its function as intended, it no longer has a place in society. It becomes a burden.” She pauses, but I’m not supposed to speak up. Her right index finger comes up to her lips. “Have you studied Darwin yet?”
I start to answer, but she cuts me off. “Of course you have. You’re a senior now. You would’ve covered Natural Selection in tenth grade.” A half laugh, half snort rips from her throat. “So you know what happens when something is no longer useful.”
“Yes. Nature gets rid
of it over time,” I say.
She slams her flat palm on the counter, and I jump. “The definition of time has changed.”
Chapter Fifteen
Snyder’s words roll around in my head for the rest of the day. One thing is clear. It’s not safe for me here anymore without Caius. If it hadn’t been for Jax’s message, I might believe that my boyfriend made the choice to walk away. My heart screams that it can’t be true, and logic tells me that he was forced out by either his parents or the council.
It doesn’t matter.
Finishing our senior year together and ending up at the same college was a pipe dream. To be honest, I’m only surprised his family didn’t put a stop to our relationship sooner. My time at Easton is up anyway. My family is gone. I’m basically a ward of the Chaffees until I turn eighteen. I have to find a way out of here. But, go where?
All day I’ve been thinking about what I’ll need to bring with me and what I’ll do. I don’t dare pack my bag early in case of a random room inspection. I’ve grown to expect anything and everything. I go over my packing list time and time again in my head, mentally placing each item I plan to take with me in my dance bag. When the time is right, I’ll pack up and go.
My route off school grounds—the one Caius taught me—is a dead end now. I’ll have to come up with another means of escape. Maybe I can send the Chaffees a note, telling them I might have remembered something about my family. At one of the stop lights, I could bolt from the car. I’m a fast runner. Maybe I… No. There’s an obvious problem with that plan. Their driver looks fast enough to catch me. I might make it a few yards, and that’s it. He’d haul me back into the car. And then everyone will know that I’d tried to make a run for it. That’s not going to work. I can’t tip my hand too early. I’m afraid Snyder would park Lieutenant McAvoy inside my door to keep me locked in. I’m guessing they want me here so I can’t find my brother. Trevor must have information they want to keep quiet. Something about the program?
My best bet is to bide my time, find the right moment, and take off. If I leave at night no one will suspect I’ve gone until the next morning. It should give me a head start so I can get safely away from school, from Snyder…
And that’s where my problems begin. I have no idea where to go or what to do. I can’t involve Jax because I don’t want him to be connected in any way. What I’m about to do will be looked at as treason in Snyder’s eyes. She’s made it clear that if I don’t perform the way she expects me to, she’ll make sure I’m dead and then toss me in the trash.
To her, I’m nothing more than a rat in a lab. Weeds in a garden.
When I think about Trevor and my mother, my heart is so heavy in my chest that I can hardly breathe. I have no idea how to find them and no plan once I’m over the iron fence if they’re still alive.
Staying here is no longer an option. I’m nothing more than a ‘project’ to the council. The instant Snyder deems me a failure, she’ll be done with me. And that’s only if Rhys doesn’t get to me first. Speaking of which, I need to be able to protect myself from him in case he shows. I never know what to expect from him anymore.
I search around my room for a weapon. My floppy-eared bunny is on my bed. Clipper is no help. Seeing him only makes me think of Caius and everything that I’ve lost, and my eyes start watering. I touch the locket clasped around my neck. I never take off the necklace he gave me.
I can’t focus on what I’ve lost right now. At this point, I can’t afford to care about anything but finding a way out of here and somewhere to go when I cross that fence.
There’s nothing handy to make into a weapon. I’ll find a tree branch and cut it down with the butter knife that I took from the cafeteria. It won’t be much, but I have to work with what I have. I can make a sharp enough point to slow down an attacker.
At dusk, I start pacing. The walls in my room shrink and the air thins. There are so many holes in my plan. I start to second-guess myself. Maybe I need help from Jax, after all.
No, if the council has found a way to intercept communications from him, and they must’ve, I can’t risk reaching out to him. I have to do this alone.
But go where? How? I drop onto my bed and roll over onto my back. Staring at the ceiling only intensifies my anxiety. I have never felt so alone in my entire life.
I think about what Trevor is supposed to have done. It’s horrible. The thought of what happened to the poor children who were murdered along with their mother causes a cold chill to race down my spine. If not at my brother’s hands, then it was at someone else’s. It’s heartbreaking. Families are being torn apart, and for what?
I can’t imagine my brother would do something so violent. But then, I’ve never seen him pushed to his limits. Back in the lab, at least for a few seconds, I’d envisioned myself doing something as bad to another human being. My mind argues that Snyder doesn’t actually count as human—when did I become so cold-hearted?
Angry, frustrated, hot tears fill my eyes and a few roll down my cheeks. I’d swear steam rises off them.
A year ago, I would have never imagined such horrible thoughts would cross my mind about a person. Any person. And, yet, here I am doing just that. The line between right and wrong is blurry from where I sit.
And I’ve changed.
…
My clock reads barely past midnight. If I’m going to do this tonight, to leave, I better go.
Within five minutes, my bag is packed. I take a deep breath about the same time I hear a noise in my closet. I lose my grip on my bag and it tumbles to the floor because I have no idea who’s going to step out of that door and my biggest fear is that Rhys has found out how to get inside my room through the tunnel.
I grab the knife, figuring the weapon is better than nothing.
When the door opens, Caius steps out.
“Tori,” is all he says as he closes the gap between us in one stride and pulls me into an embrace. His hand is tangled in my hair as we hug, and his relief comes out in a slow sigh. “I was afraid you’d be gone before I got to you. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
My body’s stiff. I’m frozen. I can’t believe he’s here.
“Councilwoman Snyder said you weren’t coming back.” I blink up at him. I grab for the hem of my shirt and roll the seam around in my fingers.
“I’m here now,” he says.
“But…”
“What is it? What’s wrong?” His hand drops from my hair and cradles the base of my neck.
I stand there, mute, blinking at him. I’m afraid this is some kind of mirage. I think he’s going to disappear, and I’m afraid to get too comfortable with him. I don’t want to need him as much as I do.
“I’m leaving,” I say. “I can’t stay here anymore.”
He leads me to the bed, his blue eyes so intent on mine that I look away. It dawns on him what’s going on inside my head.
“You’re afraid of getting too close to me because you think we’re never going to see each other again,” he says in a low voice.
It’s true. Every word. “I can’t do this with you. I can’t let my guard down again only to end up hurt. Nothing good is going to come out of this for you or me. I’m leaving, and that’s it.” I hug my elbows. “I don’t even know if I’ll make it out of here alive. Snyder has it in for me. She killed the mouse. Jax can’t contact me anymore. You already know about my friendship with Adalynn.” I haven’t had anyone to speak to in days.
He gives me an angry look when I mention the last name.
“No real friend could do what she has.” He takes my hand in his and loops our fingers together. “I know you’re scared, Tori. But I love you. That’s not going to change because we’re apart. Snyder has no control over me. My parents might be able to take me out of Easton, but they’ll never convince me to stop loving you.”
I release the sob I’ve been holding
inside and throw my arms around his neck. “I don’t want to be apart, but I have to go.”
“I know,” he says along with other soothing words. He lies back on the bed and pulls me beside him. I can hear his heartbeat, so strong, so comforting. It soothes my fried nerves. I can’t be certain how long we lie there. Minutes? Half an hour? I don’t care. Time bends and I’m lost in the wave.
“Have you spoken to him recently? To Jax?”
He shakes his head. “What’s your plan?”
“To get out of here alive and find my family.” The words tumble out of my mouth and fear grips me. I can feel myself start to tremble. I don’t, can’t, believe my family is gone. My brain can’t accept anything but them being alive.
“Where are you going first?” I’m grateful he doesn’t point out the obvious. I might end up lost and alone. They might be gone.
I shake my head, refusing to accept what might be true.
“I’m not sure. All I know is this school is not safe for me anymore.” I expect him to try to talk me out of my decision.
He says, “You’re right.”
“I had to break the tree branch,” I say. He’s surely figured that out by now.
“There’s another way out. It’s riskier.” I thought as much, because he found his way here to my room even though he shouldn’t be here. “There are more drones patrolling now. So, it’s a lot harder to move without being seen, even worse to get over the iron fence since they started making rounds. Believe me, I’ve been trying.”
“I have no idea where I’m going. I don’t even know where to start looking for my family.” He strokes my face with his finger, and my stomach quivers. I’m filled with a mix of warmth and electric tingles.
“It’ll be okay,” he soothes. “We’ll figure everything out once we get you off the property.”
His arm tightens around me, and I lose myself in the rhythm of his heartbeat. I don’t want to leave this spot, but I have to.
“How?”
“I can’t stomach the idea of you being out there where I have no idea where you are or how to contact you,” he groaned. “I know a person who might be willing to help. We can start there.”